Alone at the Bar

The bar is a common, yet unique place. It can be social or reclusive, upbeat or depressing, high class or bottom of the barrel. It has been the main setting for successful TV shows. It has been burnt down to further the plot in others (poor Artie Bucco). We have all been there and had our share of memorable moments with friends. But how many of us have tackled the bar alone?

Whether you're taking after Rule 21 or are simply looking for the coldest beer in town, I'm going to get you into the best barstool for your needs.

Okay, first of all you need to ask yourself WHY you're going to the bar. Is it for food? Is it to be surrounded by people but still be alone? Is it to make friends? Is it to get laid? It's a choose your own adventure, but laying out your goal is number one.

Next step, research. Google is great because it shows peak times at every venue. I don't really read the reviews on there or Yelp because the majority of reviews come from the establishment, Gen X and Boomers and they don't really translate to our demographic. The best way to truly get info is boots on the ground.

In my stint in Reading, PA it was tough to find a good hole in the wall. The city was dangerous and my co-workers were over 40. So, I went to a brewery that was totally modernized and outside the city limits. Sat right at the bar, talked to the bartender and got my information from her. Worked like a charm. I used her info to cross-reference my hole in the walls from google and as a bonus found a club to go out at before I was two beers deep.

Once you've narrowed down your locations, it's time to BeReal, er I mean try them out. I am writing this from the perspective of going alone, so keep in mind a couple hard rules:

1). Sit at the bar. There's no point in being a single and getting a table for two. Eliminates a lot of social cues.

2). Be approachable. Don't be absorbed in your phone, you can do that at home.

3). Be outgoing. The bartender is your new best friend for the next hour or until you start to talk to the people around you.

If I'm going out to make friends, I typically try to get a seat near a corner. This allows you to interact and have better eye contact with people on both sides of you at an angle where the entire group is involved, not just the two people next to each other.

Making friends is not easy, but it's all about how you present yourself. People tend to treat someone who is dressed well with good posture and cares about their appearance (trimmed beard, clean shaven, styled hair) better than someone unruly. After appearance, all you really need as a man is charisma and a couple hobbies to make a potential friend.

When going to be anti-social in a social setting, take an end seat near the register. There are always open seats here because it's not aesthetically pleasing. If you want to find a true hole in the wall, with a bar population less than 20 at all times, you're going to have to get away from main roads (unless you find Hole In the Wall in downtown Cleveland or Tavern on the Tracks in South End Charlotte).

Choosing a place for food is always tough and you're probably going to have to make a couple trial runs. However, I typically look for places within walking distance when making food-based decisions. Just one of my rules-of-thumb with no reasoning behind it other than success in finding good food within walking distance (s/o Jimmy V's and Red Door Tavern in Columbus).

Choosing a bar to meet women at is based around luck mainly. Fortunately, going in alone you will be outnumbered because 95% of the time women will be out in groups. This is where being approachable, charismatic and presentable come into play as well. You will also need balls and resilience to approach and get rejected. As my old landscaping boss used to say "if she knows your name, anything is possible." So introduce yourself and let the coversation flow from there.

The most important thing about choosing your bar: Don't overthink it. If you want a burger, ask someone about the best burger in town. If you want quiet, go somewhere off the beaten trail with little to no reviews online.

Now, time for you to make it happen. Find your barstool.